The Japanese Proficiency Test

For this test, it's yes or no; pass or fail; proficient or worthless; you can stay or you're deported; you can live or you will be killed.

Is this a joke? We'll find out when our scores arrive in February.

Whatever our fates, it felt festive to be part of such a diverse gathering this morning. We rolled our international eyes when the somber young proctors walked down the aisles with photographs of our faces to check off our identities on their lists for a third time. My Canadian boss likened them to synchronized swimmers. When one Filipino man rose from his seat, declaring a need to use the men's room before the official end tone had sounded, he had representatives from myriad nations behind him. Had the 5'5" Japanese proctor in a black suit not backed down, he would have seen trouble. So unifying was the experience that the Bangladeshi guy who sat behind me asked for my number after the test, even though he was six inches shorter than me and maybe 15 years older.

Next year I will take the test again, when my brain is bigger.